Monday, July 23, 2007

We are on the same high, you and I.

Fair readers,

How are YOU? I never ask, which is very cruel of me as if it were not for all of you other fleshy beings, existence would not matter. I would not matter. The realities which we think are real would cease to be, rather instead creating new ones where I do not want to imagine or go into for that matter.

I have made friends with a British native despite the fact I feel a bit scholarly in comparison. Ah well, he is not an American, so I suppose that is great progress. He still would like to bang me (plainly obvious within a drunk sort of capacity... or whenever) which is just positively annoying. I reckon I can avoid minor details to enjoy the accent and/or unusual London-y scenery for less than five days.

I partook in a certain activity I for one thought I would a) never do and b) certainly not do in the seedier areas of London town. Bar hopping has to be one of the most expensive, mind-altering (in a substance kind of way), humanizing experiences one can be included in. Followed, perhaps, closely by real clubbing (none of this fake, kiddy, all ages business).
Night one consisted of sitting on the sidelines (oh! shock, horrors! Alexis is a wallflower), taking in life as it passed me by. Some people just should not be allowed to leave their humble abodes in certain attires. Half-naked (or basically naked) is definantly a part of that, especially when it is rather clear you, in fact, do not have the proper body for such a skimpy wardrobe. For the most part, ridiculous looking emo/screamo kids and oh!-i'm-so-goth kids look exactly the same anywhere in the world: ...just bad. I hate to inform you but your sister would really like her black skinny jeans back (and possibly her hair straightener) and starch white really should not be one's facial coloring unless in some kind of kabuki performance (and I know for a fact there was none of that going on before you wandered into a Camden Town club/bar). I watched on, unsure of who was more pathetic. Was it me because I sat on a bar stool, peering on, sipping on some overpriced alcoholic beverage, silently mocking these people and their really awful dancing skills? Or was it them due to their aforementioned thread choices and movements? Still then, they are at least having "fun", where as I was probably not. I was experiencing, though, which says something, right? Oh, before I forget, what the hell is hardcore dancing? I mean, seriously, you males look like you are having some brilliant seizure, a choreographed one to boot. I seem to be lacking intelligence on the aesthetic appeal of this particular type of dance. After spending vastly too long having a sociological debate over counter culture, human interaction, and society as a whole within my silly mind, I decided the only sane way to deal with this mess presented before me was to get boozing. A drunk perception may have made much more sense, if not a breeding ground for clarity. I went about obtaining such a perception, much to my wallet's ultimate dismay. This was about the time it re-dawned on me that men as a whole are a despicable breed. I would be quite dead if I took all the drink offers thrown in my direction. Bitch, please, get over your bad goth self (also, not one but two Russians tried repeated to buy me drinks. Nothing could be less appealing than a drunk Russian male. good god, ew). Upon my realization that I was failing miserably at the game of free drinks! (and the use of my womanly wiles, [standing there seemed to be working just as well]), I decided to start taking up the drink offers (although, avoiding any Russians at all costs). Here in enters my new, slightly dense, beer saturated, "i-just-rolled-out-of-bed-in-these-clothes", male British friend. The rest of my eve was spent in Trafalgar Square at 4 in the morning. It is apparently a must to sit on one of the four gigantic bronze lions surrounding a very tall statue of Lord Nelson... but only drunk. And only in the middle of the night. It is a British London thing, so it seems. This plan failed miserably as first, neither of us were really drunk and second, the lions were all taken by people passing around bottles of liquor and smoking pot. Instead, I acquired a rather picturesque hour where we sat in front of Mr. Nelson which happened to be in direct line with Big Ben in the near distance. Honestly, you could not get more stereotypical. According to my new friend, Pete Dohertey is the new Bob Dylan. Or something.

Oh, and that is about as phallic (Lord Nelson statue, ladies and gents) as it gets, thank you.

Night two was overall a success in regards to really bar hopping. Four places! That is not one, but four hops! Joe said this was pathetic; a rabbit could do much better. I think he was just being bitter as he was most certainly turning into a pumpkin and I kept him out four hours after he had turned into such an object. I rather got used to wiggling my way through mounds of people in front of a bar and screaming a
drink name. What's up, seasoned pro, huh? We ended up at an alt rock club which was god awful unless you were belligerently drunk or really fucking sleepy. We were both the best of each worlds. Joe's amusement of humanity in this place did not seem to cease until about 2:30, which by this point I had enough whiskey to be a dancin' fool along with a good 150 other young adults, if you will. That is the only way one can justify what they are doing. It is pathetic but oddly fun and one realizes, I suppose, they are a part of some greater humanity and are ultimately looking for the same thing: an activity, anything, to make life have some sense of purpose (other than just being alive which really does harbor a decent amount of effort sometimes) and the escapism from inherent loneliness that creeps up on all of us (after all, we are goin' out solo here). And, dammit, if that means drinking a hell of a lot of alcohol, "dancing" (from a bystanders perspective, this could be seen as a mating call at times, hence the cute air quotes), and walking into a bathroom where the ladies are doing lines of coke in a stall that won't lock (which is really fucking frustrating when one has to piss and they are too tipsy to really deal with such annoying details like a mechanical seal, so in some warped sense it kind of works out), then so be it.

The only burning question I still posses is: why is it whenever I tell some lowly male what I am studying here (architecture and WWI), since they always ask, they are somehow terribly impressed? Do I look dense to you? I mean, yes, maybe YOU are, certainly, but I am definantly not.

It is apparently big of me to spend my weekends not copying the exact same sequence of activities as I just described above. When asked what the hell I have been doing for seven weeks on Friday nights, I responded honestly with, "I have been reading philosophy and the biography of Howard Hughes, occasionally partaking in late night free writes." I was told I can take a night off from studying once and a while, you know. Hardly educational.

I leave London for the exploration of western Europe on Friday. Terribly sad, but I must admit I do so miss silly Americana. It is just home, you know? I would assume it is like craving your mother's home cookin', although, my mother does not do that sort of thing unless it involves some defenseless chicken.

Mad appreciation for the British booze or a plastered smile, you chose.

I am fucking hip & shit.

Lunching @the Ivy. Such a posh bitch, I am. Whatevez, I look fab.

Afternoon tea, oh gee!

Land of fucking cranes.

It is our function as artists to make the spectator see the world our way, not his way,

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Thoughts and a latte.

I have been in Colorado for a month and a half, about. To think back to when I first got here, it seems like 6 months ago- at least. Riding my bike, trying to find the bike path and getting ridiculously lost, wading around the library, downtown Denver, my constant search for wireless, sitting in Market Street Station Park trying to find a signal from Mario's, my constant search for social interation and a friend, playing pool by myself in the condo, it all seems so long ago.

In just a month or so I have become much more independent and okay with solitude. I've becoming more comfortable with voicing my thoughts and speaking up (though I could stand to do it more). I am okay with being on my own and enjoying the company of myself. I have learned a lot about myself, what I want, and what I need. I have set myself up and gotten hurt, smoked pot, had a rocky mountain hangover, ran 5ks, met family I never even knew existed, and whitewater tubed.

If I could go back and do things differently, would I? Of course- but not much. And that's what matters. 3 weeks from today, I'll be coming home- unpacking from this trip and packing to move to the city. I'll have experienced my first (and hopefully not my last) OR. And my future will be open for whatever I want to.

Once again, I was proven: You can never have expectations and you can never take anyone or anything at face value. Things are never what they seem.

And to lighten the mood and actually include a picture in this photoblog.... my new shoes!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Je suis, oui.

So, I got this giant bag today for school. It's rather red and can possible fit my miniature poodle in it and if that doesn't work, then most certainly both my toy poodles at the same time. ....I think I may have redefined "oversized" pursed. Someone stop me.

I got nothing,

Thursday, July 12, 2007

This is exactly what I have been doing all night:

I tried absinthe earlier this eve to find out it tastes just like licorice. Who knew? Then I spent the rest of my night trying on my new outfits and deducing I have excellent taste, indeed. Meanwhile, as I did this, I danced to some sweet tunes. Then I had this period of reading my all time favorite trashy magazine, US Weekly, while sipping Diet Coke and listening to the Cure repeatedly. I moved on to reading pages about my Cancer disposition because generally what they say is so very true that is makes me giggle outloud and smile a lot more. Julia and I have been looking at cute online shopping websites and talking, which is what prompted me to come here.

Luv Usako [1:50 AM]: what is your sign?
Frog151515 [1:54 AM]: pices
Frog151515 [1:54 AM]: sorry this book is getting steamy lol
Frog151515 [1:54 AM]: i miss having available sex
Frog151515 [1:55 AM]: my sex is in michigan
Frog151515 [1:55 AM]: this fucking sucks.
Luv Usako [1:55 AM]: no wonder we are friends
Luv Usako [1:55 AM]: and a like
Luv Usako [1:55 AM]: haha wow
Frog151515 [1:56 AM]: are you emotionally capable of having a fuck buddy?
Luv Usako [1:56 AM]: no
Luv Usako [1:56 AM]: lol
Frog151515 [1:56 AM]: god dammit alexis
Luv Usako [1:56 AM]: lollllll
Luv Usako [1:57 AM]: i find sex to be rather abstract
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: well, since fuck buddy is out of the question..
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: how about european "fling"
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: it's like a fuck buddy you'll never see again after august
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: no akwardness
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: just orgasms
Luv Usako [1:58 AM]: i'm loling hardcord over here
Frog151515 [1:58 AM]: hahaha good
Luv Usako [1:58 AM]: alas i do not know any men
Frog151515 [1:59 AM]: just find one!
Luv Usako [1:59 AM]: and when i see a man, i am usually appauled
Frog151515 [1:59 AM]: "hello, my name is alexis and i'd love to take you home, get you drunk and have sex with you on every inch of my apartment."
Frog151515 [1:59 AM]: that's all you have to do
Luv Usako [1:59 AM]: LMAO
Luv Usako [2:00 AM]: i love you
Luv Usako [2:00 AM]: you know, if i was drunk and desparate enough, i would have no problems saying that
Luv Usako [2:00 AM]: when do i care
Luv Usako [2:00 AM]: lol


Luv Usako [2:49 AM]: you know what i was thinking
Luv Usako [2:50 AM]: on my wedding day when someone asks me if i am nervous, because they always do, i will respond with, "no." and they will ask why. ..."why would i be afraid of marriage? i have tattoos. they are far more permanent than any marriage."
Frog151515 [2:50 AM]: lol
Frog151515 [2:51 AM]: i'm sure i'll be the one asking
Luv Usako [2:51 AM]: hahaha
Luv Usako [2:57 AM]: i do not think of my wedding
Luv Usako [2:57 AM]: in the sense of planning
Luv Usako [2:57 AM]: at all
Luv Usako [2:57 AM]: or children's names or any of that
Luv Usako [2:57 AM]: i guess i'm weirdly not a girl in that way
Frog151515 [2:58 AM]: i plan everything when i'm bored
Frog151515 [2:58 AM]: outfits, art projects, room ideas, etc
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: if i have a plan for tomorrow, i'm doing good. lol
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: oh i do that
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: but not big life decisions involving another person
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: me? i can handle that daydream
Frog151515 [2:58 AM]: ah
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: i'm really okay with just me
Luv Usako [2:58 AM]: lol
Frog151515 [2:59 AM]: lol
Frog151515 [2:59 AM]: well you have me too
Frog151515 [2:59 AM]: and someday a small poodle, i'm sure
Luv Usako [2:59 AM]: hahaha. i think up shopping trips and sets for vanity shot
Luv Usako [2:59 AM]: the poodle
Luv Usako [2:59 AM]: i will have
Luv Usako [2:59 AM]: it will be my child!
Luv Usako [2:59 AM]: dammit
Frog151515 [3:00 AM]: but with the poodle will be a handsome, tall, tattooed, wealthy man (think alt. music record executive) that will have your name tattooed around his ring finger
Luv Usako [3:00 AM]: and now i have that sweet bicycle with the basket in the front. i simply must have the tiny poodle now.
Frog151515 [3:00 AM]: oh god, yes!
Frog151515 [3:00 AM]: i'm getting a hedgehog
Frog151515 [3:00 AM]: his name will be boo
Frog151515 [3:00 AM]: boo the boy
Luv Usako [3:00 AM]: hahahaha
Luv Usako [3:00 AM]: i love you
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: you must
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]: look at it
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]:
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]: it's adorable
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]: lol
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: hahahahahahahaha
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: omg
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: it is!
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: fabulous
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]: this ones the best
Frog151515 [3:01 AM]:
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: ah
Luv Usako [3:01 AM]: itty bitty
Frog151515 [3:02 AM]: i know
Frog151515 [3:02 AM]: i will carry it around in my purse
Frog151515 [3:02 AM]: and if waiters treat me badly i will let it poop on the floor and then complain
Luv Usako [3:02 AM]: we will be quite the team
Luv Usako [3:03 AM]: with an entourage
Luv Usako [3:03 AM]: of small beings
Frog151515 [3:04 AM]: hahha yess
Luv Usako [3:07 AM]: loves it
Luv Usako [3:07 AM]: i know, i need to marry someone fabulous that will spoil me dead rotten
Luv Usako [3:07 AM]: i am vastly too in love with the finer aspects of life
Luv Usako [3:07 AM]: it is awful
Luv Usako [3:08 AM]: but they must be aesthetically appealing and i only like ink and a nice upper body
Luv Usako [3:08 AM]: and blue eyes
Luv Usako [3:08 AM]: psh

Twirl with me,

Friday, July 6, 2007

Yeah, you got that something. I think you'll understand.


P.S.- I am, in fact, a dork.
P.P.S. - FIRE.

I wanna hold your hand,

Wednesday, July 4, 2007



We [the Americans] poured tea in the Thames today,

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of a Damn Good Cup of Coffee

So I did a 4 mile race this morning, did it in 48 minutes. For most runners out there, that's probably shit time, but before getting out here, the last time I ran was in 7th grade really. Oh well, it's all about what I can do personally, not what others can do. So go me!

While I was running I was thinking how both Alexis and I are spending our 4th of July's in very different situations: her in the country of which we are celebrating getting away from and me in a very patriotic, back to basics area of the country. It's all about the land and the past here. And both places celebrate in their own unique ways. It's kind of overwhelming, actually, so much to do. I hoped I would have some people to celebrate this day with, but instead I'm sitting in a bookstore blogging, later we will have buffalo burgers, and probably watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Movies in bed, USA USA! Maybe I'll get a latte and some ice cream too.

On that topic, I found the best latte ever the other day. I had a french silk waffle cone and a milky way latte. Chocolate, caramel, vanilla, and something else, oh my. I might go get one now!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Date with the night.

Of all the boys I've known, and I've known some!
Until I first met you, I was lonesome
And when you came in sight, dear, my heart grew light
And this old world seemed new to me
You're really swell, I have to admit you
Deserve expressions that really fit you
And so I've racked my brain, hoping to explain
All the things that you do to me

Where on earth have all the gentlemen gone? Someone, really, explain this to me. Here I am listening to the Andrew Sisters, reminiscing to a time that wasn't even mine. I am envious of my father and very glad I grew up dancing with him in the living room to this music. I remember swing dancing as a baby, for the most part, in front of the record player that now resides in my basement [which I plan to steal to Chicago in August]. You know, before he turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I am dancing with myself and maybe that is supposed to make me smile.

Progressively, I am molding into some sort of absinthe connoisseur. I bought Blanche de Fougerolles 74 today for my impending birthday. Clear absinthe, obviously 74 proof. I do not know if that is so healthy for one person. Ah well.

I really like the Imperial War Museum, Camden Town, and Alkaline Trio's version of Lucretia My Reflection is rather good, surprisingly so. That is about all.

Camden Town.

Go team.

Tower Bridge.

Dylan tells me I would love Boston. Hm. Well, hello Joe, what'dya know? I just got back from a vaudeville show!

Kill me, cupcake,

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Confidence is a Green Speedo

Colorado's been going. After a small dialog with Illegal Pete's guy, not much has happened which is really disappointing. I'm also kind of ancipating July 4th since that's such a social holiday but we'll see how it goes. Socially, it's kind of slow here but I'm enjoying the rest of it. I miss Chicago terribly, but I know when I get back to the city, I'll miss being out here.

We went to Steamboat Springs, CO this weekend for the Trail Running Championships we were sponsoring. Colin and I drove up in the GoLite mobile, talking about everything from music to sports to how Colorado keeps blowing us away. We got in, set up for Saturday, met up with Dan and had dinner. Over pub food, we talked about the future of GoLite, which direction the company is trying to move into, and how we're going to get there. It's interesting to be involved at this time because instead of being established and knowing exactly what works, we don't. We are all learning together and it's really cool to see that. Then the 3 of us walked around town and then got drinks. My roommies, Kyle, Shay, and Meghan joined us back at the hotel and we hit the sack.

The race went awesome. I was the GoLite booth girl so I hawked our products, met tons of people, and got free stuff! Then we tubed the Yampa River. Backdoor Outfitters was the main tube rental company and the shuttle driver was definitely proud to be a backdoor kinda guy. (insert many many dirty jokes here). Floating along in the river, going through rapids, paddling along, it was all so peaceful. I did a lot of thinking and realized everything I need is here. Good people, good times, living life and making the best of it, staying positive, working hard and playing hard. It was so amazing, those moments of clarity. If I could, I'd pack up and move to Steamboat right there. But what a quirky town that was.
We took plenty of pictures, Kyle walked around town in his green speedo and got honked at more than Meghan and I did. Then dinner, some tequila and lemonade to celebrate the weekend and Kyle making Primal Quest, sock wrestling, music discussions, and late night talks about life with Shay.

Sunday, we got some breakfast at Winona's and Colin and I headed back home, more talks about life, Colorado, music, etc. We listened to way too much Dropkick Murphys all weekend. I really can't pick out one good thing from this weekend, it was all just amazing. My only complaint is that being under 21 sucks. It limits just how much I can be included in things. But really, I can't ask for a better job or a group of people to be with.

Fret for your latte.

"There is a reason I called you. I felt you should be the first person I actually tell this to. Guess what I did today for my birthday?"
"I said 'guess'!"
"... You got a tattoo."
"Yes! Indeed, I did. hahaha."
"Oh. My. God. What and where?"
"California poppy, left hip area."
"Did you squel like a girl?"
"No, actually, I really enjoyed it. Didn't complain once. It seems I do get off on pain."
"... You just get hotter."
"Oh boy."
"Not going to lie, turned on right now."
"Haha, bullshit!"

Shiny, shiny boots of leather,