Friday, June 29, 2007

Still my favorite song.

Drink up baby, stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now
And forget all about the pressure of days
Do what I say and I'll make you okay
And drive them away
The images stuck in your head

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, deep in my heart
Separate from the rest, where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still
Between the Bars, Elliot Smith

I do not know,

Where nothing but earthly pleasures seem to matter:

What the fuck gives, mate?

Today has been exciting in good olde London!:
1. Car bomb was detonated in Central London - Piccadilly Circle. ...ahem, al-Quada.
2. Holborn Tube station [where my school is located]: man was under a train. There were about a million Metro policemen.
3. FIRE! Yes, indeed, I saw a fire within the alley in front of my kitchen window whilst I baked chocolate chip cookies [I was feeling particularly domestic today-- I baked cookies for my kitchenmates.]

London is, to say the least, a bit hectic as we speak. Metro police are everywhere and the underground has a lot of "protection".

Oh, dear.

It is afternoon; I am ready for bed.
I am ready to exist again.
But, I just can't bring myself.

I am in some very extraordinary good mood as it seems and having a dance party with myself. I think I may mosey over to the lounge and watch The Big Lebowski at 11. Sadly, I do lack a Caucasian. I have been bidding my time with excessive shopping. It does so bring a smile to my lips, something rare now-a-days. As well as the never-ending exploration of Medieval alleyways. That is off-topic. I have acquired about 5 dresses, one of which is from Kate Moss' line at TopShop. It is sale season in London and I spied a Burberry scarf that should most likely be mine.

I hold your hands so you won't steal anything, I take your drugs so you don't feel anything,


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I must go in, the fog is rising.

The sea is calm to-night,
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; -- on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand,
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanch'd land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the Aegean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.
The sea of faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl'd.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.
--Dover Beach, Matthew Arnold

Existence precedes essence,

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I am milk.

I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum after class this afternoon. I am progressively becoming a museum junkie. It is grand.

Anyway, my favorite part was the fashion section, naturally. Hah. I love the history of fashion and how it has evolved. Seeing it in person? Brilliant. Although, they had a very extensive Asian and South Asia section which was fascinating.

Harrod's. Can I have an unlimited credit card? Please? I was in a room with Chanel, Burberry, Fendi, Chole, and Yves Saint Laurant handbags. All. In. One. Room. I think I may have died a little. It was just gorgeous. There were no words. I lust after them. I am not an envious person, but god damn, Harrod's makes me greedy! Oh, the glorious handbags! Ah. I then sauntered into a room full of Valentino evening gowns. I almost cried. There were tears forming. I literally had to leave. So, I did. Alas, I can not buy all those pretties, so I bought some Harrod's themed gifts. Tea, a grocery bag for next year, and a key chain. Oh, how I love you, Harrod's. Vivienne Westwood's various lines were there. Oh my god, I can't explain my joy. The red line. The winter coat. The jewelry. Oh, oh.

Speaking of Miss Westwood, I went to the first store she ever opened today. World's End on King's Road, down the street from my room. I walked into living history, fashion genius. It was surreal.

Best couch ever, made out of Harrod's bears.

Shirley Manson is a goddess.

I don't know where to go tomorrow. You should tell me. Touristy sights or blow money at markets? I'm going to Camden Town on Saturday for some inky fun, so I suppose it'll be the touristy business. I wonder how that will go. Ideas, I tell you. I got 'em floatin' in this head.

I'm bored. I've been uploading photobucket all evening. I take too many pictures. 350ish so far.

I've run out of anything productive to say in this for the evening. I'm afraid if I continue, other unpleasant things will leak into my words, corrupting the sole purpose of Caffeine Infused Reality as a travel log of sorts. My other journals need tending to. This is not my idea of a good time.

Ah, by the by, I am rather drunk, as it stands. I write quite well in this state. Super.

Choke on guilt, that's far too good for you,

I wish I could fly, as angels can fly.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Land of Enchantment

New Mexico is supposedly the land of enchantment, according to their welcome sign. I scoffed at that when we drove into the state late Friday night. What a drive that was. I swear we hit a time warp, some little towns with one stop light if that, little diners all over, Spanish missions. It was a trip. Once we hit New Mexico, we entered clear highway for miles. I didn't know that existed anywhere still besides movies. What a city kid I am. We drove through the desert and there was a storm in the distance. No street lights, just the stars and the headlights of the car- on occasion, lightning in the distance. It was beautiful. We stayed on the Pojoque Reservation and wow, they got some amazing land. Beautiful views in all directions. We went to a flea market and an artisan market, met some real life Indians! Ha, I sound kind of pathetic. Santa Fe was kind of boring, but give me open land and mountains any day! I really didn't want to leave. We did a 5K on Sunday before we headed home. I ran a bit and walked a bit, pushed myself as far as I could go at least, that's all I can do.

I didn't want to come back to Denver, but working at GoLite makes it worth it. I love it there. Everyone's so nice, I get free shwag almost every day, product test the new prototypes and such, it would only be better if I was actually paid! One day..

I've been doing what I can to stay sane and make friends. I talked to a guy from Illegal Pete's. He seems really nice- helped me find some concert halls, one of which I'm seeing Feist in on Friday! Woohoo! I gave him my number but we'll see if anything will happen with that. Also, there's a guy at the climbing gym who said to let him know if I want to climb outdoors anytime. I'm totally up for that, as long as I don't embarrass myself again! But I'm hoping to go climbing tomorrow and see if I can take him up on his offer sometime soon!

Besides work and travelling, I'm doing my best to stay busy. Tomorrow we're doing a hike, then I'm doing work all day, maybe climbing. I can finally drive stick shift and not pop the clutch! I'm a pro now! Well driving = freedom, so that works out pretty nice! For work, I'm going up to Steamboat, CO in the end of June for an event with the company, so that will be fun too! All around, a pretty good time.

As Alexis does, here's some parting lyrics that I've been listening to alot these last few days:
We wanted to find love
We wanted success
Until nothing was enough
Until my middle name was excess

Somehow I lost touch
When you went out of sight
When you got lost into the city
Got lost into the night

I was in need of help
Heading to blackout
Till someone told me "run on in honey
Before somebody blows your goddamn brains out"

You shoplifted as a child
I had a model's smile
You carried all my hopes
Until something broke inside
But now

We float
Take life as it comes
We float
Take life as it comes

So will we die of shock?
Die without a trial?
Die on Good Friday?
While holding each other tight

This is kind of about you
This is kind of about me
We just kinda lost our way
We were looking to be free
But one day

We'll float
Take life as it comes
We'll float
Take life as it comes

But one day
We'll float
Take life as it comes

PJ Harvey- We Float

Send me an angel to love, I need to feel a little piece of heaven.

I'm afraid I've been a bit neglectful to Caffeine Infused Reality. I own three journals, one tends to get more time than the other depending on the subject matter. Livejournal has been taking up my time recently. I have this icon problem, uh. LJ is my thoughtful, I-don't-feel-like-writing-this-all-out journal with an audience. This is obviously a travel journal. My hand-written one tends to get the most time generally. I suppose it is special, it gets to tote around with me all the time. Poor internet journals.

I bought a $112 bottle of high grade absinthe on Sunday. That better me some whack shit. I'm excited for the ritual. Hoorah.

Joe and I went to the Queen's birthday parade thing. It was very British and nationalistic, therefore intensely cute. DUDE, SHE DIDN'T WAVE. I was SO upset. THAT IS HER FUCKING JOB. WAVE. BETCH. Camille was there and possibly William? It was hard to tell. I think I was more excited by the possibility of William. Hah. Oh, and it wasn't even her real birthday. It was her "royal birthday". Psh.

None of my classes are in a classroom. I'm learning the underground lines very well. I have to go to a different part of the city every day. We went to the Imperial War Museum on Monday. It was enjoyable. I have a lot of respect for those in the militia. I could not look another human being in the eye and then shoot them dead. Those eyes must haunt. It is mind-blowing and the psychology of it alone is enough to makes me shocked, let alone the act of killing another. I suppose that is when men become another object, not soul bearing, just another uniform to fall to the ground in a pool of blood. How could one act otherwise? I do not know. Nothing replaces the fact that you just destroyed someone and everyone around them... not for king, country, whatever it may be. There is nothing glamorous in war.

There are two stories that often remind of the above feelings, one from each of my parents. I suppose I will share.
My mother told me once that when she was living in Germany, she went to a butcher shop to get some chicken for soup as she was sick. She was waiting in line and the butcher got to her. She ordered what she came for and he just looked her in the eyes and said, "You are Russian." She was a bit taken a back and spat out, "How could you tell? Is it because you can't forget the eyes of so many you killed?" She then left. He just looked at her and did not say anything.
When the more recent rendition of Pearl Harbor was released, the one with Josh Hartnett, my father and I went and saw it in theater's. The scene with the actual bombing of Pearl Harbor and the aftermath, how it effected the country... I turned next to me to find him crying as he watched the screen. That is still the only time I have ever seen my father cry. Pearl Harbor was the day before his 18th birthday. When the movie was over, he was wiping away his tears, and said to me, "My friend who was in school with me since first grade through high school, he died in that. He was the cutest Japanese kid. He was only 18. How is it I lived and he did not?"

There is no justice. The unfairness haunts my father but without it he would not be here and I certainly wouldn't be either. But then, what is fair.

One does not pity the people of the town
nor does one hate them
One says, 'They did it to us'
but one is left staring
the scene has gone beyond argument.
VS Pritchett, Germany 1945

My history teacher and I were talking and I told him some of my family history. His friend and him are doing a documentary on WWII and the Caribbean. Guess who was stationed all through out there? I guess my father had a chat with the other man. He was very excited. There is apparently not much written about that and coming across anyone who was a part of that theater is very rare. Let alone anyone alive. My history tutor looked at me and told me my father is living history.

I am lucky.

My mother tells me I have seven guardian angels looking upon me. Not more than seven. Not eight, no less, not six. Seven.
Remember, child, God is watching.

Today I went to Greenwich with the Architecture class. Normally I find architecture to be a bit bland after some time. How long can you discuss and compare buildings? Honestly. But, it is vastly more interesting when you can GO to these places! Who knew. It is a bit like Shakespeare. So much, much better when played out by professional actors. Oh, I saw Othello on Sunday night at the Globe.

I am trying to decide if I want to bother going to Dublin or Scotland. To go or no? Ah, decisions.

I wish I had not woke up today
Everyone mistakes the things you say
Take the simple truth and
Twist it all around
Make it sound important

Make it seem profound

I never would have pegged you
For what you have become
Everyone lies
Everyone cheats
Not like you've done

Dog new tricks
Nothing you learn will stick
Dog new tricks
You make me feel so worthless
Garbage, Dog New Tricks

Send me an angel to love, I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven,

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A modern girl.

I explored the upper level of the British Museum this afternoon after classes. I could be in there for at least a week. There is just an immense amount of collections and it's very fascinating. Good story: I was looking at the directory and this middle-aged British man that works there comes up to me and asks me if I need any help finding anything. I said no and that I was just looking at the map. He then asked me where I was from, why I was in London, what I was studying and then ended our conversation with, *insert stuffy Brit accent* "Well, if I may say, you are splendid looking young woman. If you need any help at all, please ask me and I'll be at your service." ....I almost died. It was so funny. I didn't know whether to be creeped out that this 55 year old was hitting on me or totally amused because it came out so cute in that accent and general manner of presentation that a British elder man has. ..."lawl?"

Typical London housing on side streets.

The Tube from South Kensington station.



But now I stand on honest ground,

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I can still feel you, even so far away.

I love cooking. I also love how I can walk down the street and find vegan cooking essentials and make myself everything I love. I realized today I am up the road from one of the Vivienne Westwood stores here. I am SO excited. Oh-em-gee! Loves it.

There is so much to see and do. It's overwhelming. I feel under siege. Ah.

This is where I live, off of Kings Rd.

Room with a view.

Class tomorrow with my tutors. Haha. I love you, Brits.

London: one city, one nation,

Monday, June 11, 2007

And you can come on over to my place if you want to.

So one week down, 7 to go. The first week here in Denver was rough. I'm getting used to my cousins and this strange southwest way of life. Meeting people is the hardest, though. I need friends because without other people my age, I'm really depressed. I sit on my balcony, staring at the mountains, and talking to friends from home on the phone. Without them, I'd be insane already.

My best night so far was Sunday though. Kevin and his friend Nick passed through Denver on their way to Utah.

We walked around the city, went to Wahoo's Fish Tacos, played pool, swam a bit, watched Dosage, then they fell asleep. My allergies and freight trains kept me up for a bit, and all of us ended up staying up talking before falling back asleep until the morning. Monday, we got up, I made them coffee, they drove me to the GoLite photoshoot and they were on their way. It was nice to have some people to hang out with. I'm still working on making other friends here.

Today Wade and I went up to the Bailey mountain house to get the car. It's a 1986 Audi, manual transmission. What an interesting ride home. I got highway driving down fine. It's the city driving with stop lights and all that give me trouble. Once I get that down, though, I should be good to go.

Two younger people from the the GoLite office offered to take me out in Boulder some time. It's really nice of them and I'm looking forward to it. They said they know of some dive bars in the area to get me into and we'll go out for a bit. In addition to that, this weekend, Sue, Wade, and I are going to Taos, New Mexico for some run and some hiking and climbing. The weekend after that, I'm hoping to go out to Utah to join Kevin and Nick, if I can. Things are getting better slowly. Now I just need friends (and maybe a job) and I'll be fine.

'cos I know how it feels, filling in the blanks, looking on the bright side when there is no bright side

London is absolutely fabulous. I can't say more good things about it. I'm completely content and happy here and I would not have it any other way. It is typical of me to totally isolate myself on the other side of the world. No friends, no roommate, nada. I have made one friend, though. His name is Joe and he is my kitchenmate from Seattle. Film student going to school in Massachusetts. Did I spell that right? I remember in 5th grade there was some song in order to remember how to spell that state correctly. Then you repeated in backwards in the same sing-songy way. Uh. There a large handful of people from Chicagoland here but they seem kind of dull. I met a girl from San Jose today, Jaime. She seems cool. Typical Bay Area girl. I'm down.

So what is different over here? It is basically like America but a thousand times more interesting. Literally everything is hundreds of years old. The city, the streets, the sites. There is a market I am going to this weekend that has been in operation since 1190. Uh. You see my point. So it's this mix of rich history there is this buzzing, modern metropolis. London never goes to bed. I was walking around in the middle of the night and busses were running, people were walking around, restaurants/bars were open, some shops were open. It was alive like it was during the day. This isn't exactly the hoppin' part of London, either. It's Chelsea which is rather posh and laid back. I can't imagine what Soho is like in the middle of the night. Dear god. As a night owl, I was extremely appreciative. People are far less high stress here and more about having a good time which I completely agree with that sentiment. As the people who run this school said, the American stereotype is that we are "work, work, work, ... and, 'Have a nice day.'" So true. I catch myself smiling and saying that to sales clerks as I leave and they don't do that here. They say "Thank you" or "Cheers"... but no having any nice days. I must be a bloody American.

London is obsessed with organic here. It's so amazing. There are organic shops, markets, restaurants... cosemetic stores, herbal medicine stores. Vegetarianism and veganism is very prominent here as well. The everyday mini-marts here have vegan food and not only that, but it's marked vegan! So cool! I'm such a dork. I love it, though. I couldn't be more pleased. This is so my place. The shopping is intense. There is just so much of it that I don't know where to begin. Literally. I feel like if I start I won't stop and get lost in a sea of fabrics and vanity. I love it! Ah!

Brit girls are really intimidating. They all sound so intelligent with their accents. I feel like a moron in comparison. They end every sentence with, "...yeah?" For instance, I was sitting next to some girls probably my age and they were having your average girl chatter. Everyone of them would say something like, "So then we went to such-and-such's flat and this thing-and-that... yeah?" It was really cute. Not only that but they are all super pretty, thin, and strikingly European. American girls look plain sightly in comparison to European girls. The presentation alone. Oh my god. These ladies know how to dress in a knock-out kind of way. Jeans and a t-shirt are MIA here. ...Bloody Americans.

The education system here is a lot different. I kind of like it more. Teachers and students are much more personable and have a more friends, hands-on relationship. You call your professor a "tutor" and when addressing them, you call them by their first name. Campuses are spread across the city, not in one central location. Dorms are the same way. There is a ton of reading. Apparently an archaic form of asking what one is majoring in in college used to be, "What are you reading in your uni?" Reading equals majoring... literally because all you do is read, read, read. I guess the American obsession with group projects is much more of a limited idea here.

I decided I want to move here. I wanted to move here when I was 16. I looked into colleges my senior year but I felt too young to off and move to another continent at 18. There is an advisor here that gives you information if you want to come back for a semester or a year or if you want to come here semi-permanently for school, such as graduate school. I'm down. I have no qualms at all. Sure, I'd miss America but hey, there is a Starbucks every couple blocks here too. Sadly not at every cornor but fear not, there is Cafe Nero and Cafe Primero in case you need that espresso jolt. Anyways, it's totally doable, I would just have to decide if its a good idea to have a British degree vs. an American one. It's either this or California. I feel like I can live in California at any point in my life, grad school or otherwise. London, on the other hand, is more of a once in a lifetime kind of ordeal. I'd be very dense to dismiss it, no? So we'll look into it. You see, when I have a dream and a desire to do something, I go through with it. It's mine if I try. Anything is yours if you want it bad enough.

In other news, I have basically figured out the Tube. Public Transit in any country, even one such as Japan, is really not hard if you have a good map. I don't get how people are lost. Perhaps my nose is too keen with directions. Generally it is which is good because I am far too stubborn to ask for any sort of help.

I feel like a seasoned pro at traveling compared to most kids here. It's weird to think this time last week I was in Chicago, back to Springfield, and going to St. Louis to shop. It's crazy how a mere airplane ride changes everything.

As far as lingual differences go, there are quite a few. I keep thinking that British English is some kind of weird accented version of my English, kind of like my mother's Russian accented English. But that isn't right because Americans stole it from England. So... They are right and I am wrong. It's odd. Their English is so cute. Some things that stick out: flat is apartment, lift is elevator, telly is television, sun cream is sun screen, mash is mashed potatoes, tatties is potato, bangers is a type of sausage, courgette is a zuichini, aubergine is an eggplant, chips are fries, crisps are chips, clingfilm is plastic wrap, bill is check, bitter is beer, biscuit is cracker, gherkin is pickle, jam is jelly, jelly is jell-o, peckish is hungry, cheer is good-bye or thank you, cheeky is being a smart ass, dosh is money, dodgey is something or someone who is untrustworthy, fancy is to desire something, pudding is any kind of dessert, starter is an appetizer, sarny is a sandwich, gutted is being really upset, jammy is being really lucky, knackered is being worn out, pear shaped is something that has gone wrong, pissed is getting really fucking drunk, rubbish is trash, smart is refering is how someone is dressed, snog is to make out, uni is college, squidgey is soft, zed is how you pronounce "z", normal is regular in referencing soda. I asked for light ice in my latte and they looked at my like I was nuts. I guess you say less ice here. Who knew?

Daft Punk is playing a festival in Hyde Park this Saturday night. It's $80 to go and it's all day with a bunch of bands. I kind of want to go because obviously, I want to dance the night away to some good electro alt French techno loveliness but also because I can say I did that in London... In Hyde Park! Othello is playing at the Globe Theater that night and I could go see that for free. I feel like I should see a play there. Maybe I'll just pay to see one some other time. ...Which one to go to? You tell me.

Theres a blue light, in my best friends room
Theres a blue light, in his eyes
Theres a blue light, yeah,
I want to see it, shine

Theres a ship, that sails by my window
Theres a ship that sails on by,
Theres a world under it
I think I see it,
Sailing away

I think its sailing,
Miles crashing me by
Crashing me by,
Crashing me by

Theres a world,
Outside my doorstep
Flames over, everyones heart
Dont you see them shining,
I want to hear them
Beating for me

I think I hear them
Waves crashing me by,
Crashing me by,
Crashing me by

Blue Light, Mazzy Star

Pictures eventually. I haven't seen anything really picture worthy yet. I haven't started the endless trek that will be site seeing.

Smashing, dahhlingss,

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

When you speak loud:

I have been extraordinarily busy the past week. I've come back from Israel, unpacked, went to Chicago for 2 days and possibly sorted various things out, came back to Springfield, purged my closet of probably a fourth or more of my massive wardrobe with the lovely Julia to help me, and went to St. Louis yesterday with my partner in any cute crime (*ahem* Julia) for some much needed shopping good times. Do you like how I got rid of clothes and bought more the next day? Logistics of females, doesn't work.

I'm moving to London tomorrow. The internet doesn't work at my house so I'm in Starbucks using their wireless. They know me here. Yesterday I had my pink extensions in (by the way, my mother swears by her name that I am going to hell for my pink head, right) and today they go, "No pink hair?" hah. I'm so lame. ...And I love it.

I have a list of things I should be doing. Here's to starting that. Jen and I have been making phone dates every night for the past several. It's nice to know despite miles and miles, we are the same. My mother is indeed rediculously stupid, I have a wise choice in friends and particularly roommates. Hey Jen, I'll tell Julia to go and visit you at your second job when she's out in Denver. Small world, hah.

Hey friends don't you think you better cool it down
You're always gettin' curious and leavin' town
You know i like it being in your family
I wonder what would happen if nobody left
We'd all stick around if we'd all stick around

And here's a question that's been tested:
Tell me, if we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend?

Hey friend listen up their playing our song
On the radio, do you have to go?
I really like it, this rock and roll
Makes me want a little sugar in my bowl
It's like the glory days, it's like a fortune sold

And here's a question that's been tested:
Tell me, if we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend?

Let's none of us forget about who we are
So choose a path and follow it
Take a pill and swallow it
None of us forget about who we are
It's not forever we can fool around in the dark

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

If we sleep together
Would it make it any better?
If we sleep together
Would you be my friend forever?

La Familia, Mirah

Watching your house shrink away in my rear-view mirror
as I drive away
wishing that I could take back all those words
that meant nothing that I didn't say

I'm trying
to be what you want me to be
but it's so damn hard to keep playing the part
of the fool, week after week

I think you need some time alone (I think you need some time alone)
you say you want someone to call your own
open your eyes, you can suck in your pride
you can live your life all on your own

Is this all going to be just another time
that we play this game?
I've tried to convince you that things could be different
but somehow they end up the same

But what
did you expect from me? What am I supposed to do?
you say that you're starting to feel like you're getting lost
well, I do too

I don't wanna live this lie again (I don't wanna live this lie again)
I know I'll get it right but I don't know when
I'll open my eyes, I've got something in side
I'll just jack off in my room until then

It's never over 'til it's done...

Waggy, Blink-182

I'm done with the lyrics that share my thoughts all too well. I'm out, gone across the pond again.

typical jen and alexis in the car. to gunther's sexy sounds.

the city that brings us all together and breaks us all a part.

better times.


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Mile High City

So I'm here in Denver, what a small, boring city. After two days of exploring, I'm already bored. Chicago spoils me, that's for sure. I've been job searching and I start my internship tomorrow. Transportation to Boulder is an issue, but we'll figure it out. I have to learn to drive manual, which should be interesting.

I have my own condo here, though it has no internet, a tv with 2 channels, no furniture besides a table, some random chairs, and an air mattress. I made a dresser out of cardboard boxes. Tonight I'm decorating, but here's what my humble abode looks like.
I spend my free time sitting on my balcony looking at the mountains on the phone with people. I need to make friends but that's hard when I don't have a job or a reason to talk to people.

Everyone here looks a lot younger than they are. I keep looking for people my age to possibly start a conversation and they end up being married or older. It's strange. And it seems like everyone here is in a relationship or married. I have seen very few young people walk around or shop by themself. It's always a couple. Just an interesting observation.

Basically, I'm lonely and a little depressed. I'm excited for the opportunities that lie ahead here, but I'm also really nervous.