Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh, hello again

So I have completely neglected this poor blog all summer. It's been a very busy one and I haven't had the chance to travel outside of my fair city too much. Though that in itself has been a blessing; Chicago is a beautiful city that this summer has allowed me to fall in love with all over again. Today I went to Oak Street Beach, sat under a tree, and read a book. Then I ventured over to Corner Bakery for a salad and ended up jotting down four pages of my thoughts. It's been a great summer and as it winds down, here's a short recap and some thoughts about it.

Summer was kicked off with a bang in the form of my 21st birthday party which was one of destruction and good times all around. After terrible birthdays in the past in college, it was so wonderful to have so many good friends come out for it. It was the same weekend as Looptopia which was such a great experience for Rubbish as a whole. May and June were really all about starting up my internship at the Museum of Contemporary Art and my job at FFC. Both of them have been such great experiences as the internship winds down and the job only begins. Also, my 21st birthday was celebrated on the actual day, a Tuesday- so hard to go out really- but with a few close friends that I couldn't thank enough. The Chicago Diner sang to me about 4 different times and I don't know if I could feel more loved :)

June, Alexis and I moved to the new condo. The condo with the view enough to make you stop, catch your breath, and grab your chest. It's true, I've seen that reaction happen on many occasions. Though it looks like a canvas backdrop on a movie set, it's real and simply beautiful.

The summer was mainly a mix of going out to hipster parties/ shows and working. Bob stayed down in the apartment more times than Alexis did, as he scored an internship at the Lakeshore Theater with his old boss.

Besides that, I can't really say too much. In the front of relationships, it's summer so some people are far and away while some are ever-present. KB and I don't talk too much any more, though he requested that we still be friends. The Joe effect, I suppose. There have been "suitors", there have been dates, there have been butterflies. The rest is not for the world to know.

I guess that's it. And now with some final thoughts:
As August nears, I can’t help but reflect back on my summer. Though I didn’t travel many places or live anywhere new, I did rediscover my beautiful city and myself.

Again, like last summer, I lived on my own, though this time with the company of a cat, and I was surrounded by good friends. Moving to a new home, having a new internship and a new job and still meeting new people, it felt like I was in a new city. Being freshly 21 also opened the doors to a whole new city experience.

I am more established and confident in myself, going out on the town and running into a whole slew of nightlife friends. Getting into afterparties for free, getting VIP passes and on the guest list because of the MCA, it’s a whole new exciting life that I love taking advantage of. I’m young and love to be social- why not!

I’ve also learned a lot about the realm of relationships. I’m young and love to be social, yes, and very, very carefree. I have my responsibilities and that’s good for me. As the Dandy Warhols put it, “just a casual, casual easy thing” is what I’m all about. The hard part is finding someone else who is all about that too. I’ve learned that many people read into things as they want to. (Que the honest best friend who will listen to your recap of last night and tell you what he really meant when he said that.) And many times that selective hearing leads to leading people on. In the last few months, in my opinion, I was “seeing some people” in their opinions, I was a girlfriend. As I straightened things out, I hurt them- but that’s what they get for assuming things, right?

While I let my thoughts take me to places near and far, a familiar song comes on in the restaurant. “June, July, and August said, ‘it’s probably hard to plan ahead.’’ And a whole new scroll of feelings pours in. One is déjà vu, sitting in this restaurant, having a lovely day on my own. It’s something out of a dream. But it’s also a reminder of sitting in another one of these chains in Denver, hearing another familiar song on the speakers there, making me feel at home.

This summer furthered some relationships and somewhat strained others. Tony and I sharing drunken talks and a hallucinogenic trip brought us so much closer. Andrea disapprovingly responding, though, with “funny how much we’ve all changed in the last four years.” Makes you think. Part of it saddens me to think about how young, naïve, and dewey-eyed we were. And how mature and hardened I am now. To think back on what that song used to mean to me is words different than what it does now.

But I have to stop and look at my life now: I have new friends and connections at work and the internship, I have stepped up a role in Rubbish, I have a fabulous new home, great friends surrounding me, and a new “casual, casual easy thing.”

To conclude, some pictures, as this is a photoblog.

The fabulous view from my condo- the entire skyline <3

The Chi Fam on my birthday party

Aaron, me, and Jenna on my actual 21st

Bob and me and a show

Sam and me on the 4th of July

A trip to Manhattan with my Mamaloo

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